If I Had Only Known
by SassySlytherin
Summary: When their fields of work must unite to fight Voldemort, Draco and Hermione fall for each other, and eventually marry. But a malicious plan seperates Draco and a secretly pregnant Hermione, for six years. When they meet again, can they repair the damage?


  
  
A/n: I had actually written this a while back, when I used to post at here, and I think it's kinda stupid, but whatever.  
  
centerIf I Had Only Known  
  
By: RomanceCharm/center  
  
A nineteen-year old Hermione Granger stepped into her office on a bright Monday morning in sharp blue dress robes. Placing her briefcase on the floor under her desk with her purse, she settled into her plush swivel chair with her French vanilla coffee and started to work. At half past ten there was a knock at her door, followed by the entrance of Harry Potter himself.  
  
"Good morning, Minister," Hermione addressed him with a smile and a hug.  
  
"Oh don't call me that, it makes me feel old," Harry remarked as they broke apart, and the two friends laughed.  
  
"So what brings you here so early? Ron's snoring kept you up again?" Hermione joked as she resumed her seat behind her desk, and Harry sat in one of her visitor's chairs. Harry and Ron shared an apartment in London.  
  
"I wish it were only that." Harry's face grew solemn. "We have been tracing Lord Voldemort and he is ready to strike again. We have had a new Auror appointed currently, someone thorough and ready to take on this mission. Though he is new to the Ministry, he is the best-skilled out of all of our Aurors and I believe that this case is appropriate for no one but him. Okay?"  
  
"Sure, Harry. So you want to discuss with me what he'll be doing and I can keep records and notes of his location, what he's doing, and what Voldemort has done." Harry nodded. "Okay, now when do I get to meet him plan all of this?"  
  
"Now, but the thing is, you've already met him. Hermione, please don't get upset," Harry pleaded and rose to the door uncomfortably, bewildering Hermione. He seemed to be speaking to someone waiting in the chair beside her door, and soon the figure stood and followed Harry into her office. Seating himself across the desk from Hermione was none other than Draco Malfoy.  
  
Hermione was, to say the least, unprepared for this. She managed a small smile and Harry, herself, and Malfoy civilly went over every aspect of the mission, no hint of emotion in either of their voices. When they had finished, Malfoy smirked before departing.  
  
"WHY didn't you tell me it was Malfoy?! And how did he get hired here with you in charge?" Hermione questioned, distressed.  
  
"Hermione, I may not like the guy all too well, but he is what we need on the force right now. His experience and skills are essential to the plan for conquering Voldemort. And besides, his employment here is only temporary anyway, only until this mission is complete. We need him, the wizarding community needs him," Harry admitted.  
  
Hermione sat back in her chair and pouted, gaining a smile from Harry. She knew he was right. It was going to be a hell of a time the next three months.  
  
center /center  
  
The Secretary of the Ministry was right in that accusation, but not in the way she'd thought. Through the course of Draco's adventures {if you will}, Hermione learned of a new, caring Draco that truly honored being on the light side. He and Hermione became friends easily after her new view of him kicked in, and she was glad to end the childhood rivalry.  
  
One quiet Thursday afternoon in September, Draco reported back to the Ministry, finally finished with his four month-long duties. It had been in papers everywhere of what he had done for the light side, and people talked. Lucius Malfoy was furious with every article of his son's good deeds that was published, but Draco had disregarded him every time. Entering Hermione's office after knocking, a smiling Draco sidled behind her desk and she stood to hug him. "Hey! Back so soon?" she joked.  
  
"Ha ha, very funny," Draco remarked and with a laugh pulled her close, for no other reason than a strange desire to do so, which surprised both of them.  
  
Hermione took note of his scent, and she was overcome by the wonderful smell of him. Pressed into his chest, Draco swayed her back and forth in their embrace, until finally Hermione looked up curiously at the man who towered over her by a good nine inches. "Draco?" she inquired, and acting on impulse, hearing that small, sweet voice, Draco leaned close to her face and gently pressed his lips to hers. He opened his eyes nervously and searched the face still tilted up to look at him. Hermione smiled, causing a confession of his love for her to ooze out. She grinned and replied, "I love you too, Draco," and shared another kiss with him. And that marked the start of the peculiar relationship of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.  
  
For months afterward they were inseparable, the workers at the Ministry never saw one with out the other. The love between them was pure and meaningful, and for once all seemed right in the world. That is, until her birthday in April, when Draco proposed.  
  
After their wedding in June, Hermione moved in with Draco at Malfoy Manor, receiving something short of a warm welcoming from his parents and housekeeping staff. Weeks went by after the ceremony and honeymoon to the Bahamas, and the Malfoy family, excluding Draco of course, was cold and harsh to Hermione, never to accept a Muggle-born as a Malfoy. Hermione, being as strong as she was, sustained all of their ridicule with a nonchalant outward appearance. But at night she'd cry herself to sleep before Draco got in from work at the Aurors Agency {A separate organization from the Ministry}.  
  
The torment shelled out soon was over, though. On one brisk November day, Hermione nervously took a pregnancy test and discovered that she was indeed carrying a baby. The family butler Dennis overheard her later in her room, rehearsing how to tell Draco, and he informed Lucius. Livid, Draco's father created a plan to be delivered by Dennis that was to rid the Malfoys of Hermione for good.  
  
The butler calmly knocked and once welcome entered Hermione's bedroom, and he politely informed her of the predicament. He claimed Draco had decided that his work with the agency was becoming more dangerous and time-consuming, and that he believed it wasn't fair to keep her locked away there. The butler said that Draco felt it would be in his best interests if the couple had a parting of the ways. Besides, a baby wouldn't fit into his lifestyle at the moment. Shocked and disbelieving, Hermione argued but eventually she reluctantly agreed to leave. She was heartbroken and depressed beyond belief; the only reason she'd even considered it was that it'd be best for Draco, as Dennis kept insisting. Hermione guessed that the butler was right, so she did it, because she loved Draco. She had house-elves to help pack her things, and a limousine was drawn to see her to King's Cross at sunset, concluding the most horrible day of Hermione's life. She decided to take her name and new address out of the phonebook and all Ministry records. She didn't want anyone to bother her ever again.  
  
Draco Malfoy was left to ponder why the love of his life had up and left him so suddenly, as he endlessly searched for her and always came up empty. He didn't believe the excuse Dennis gave him; that she simply tired of him and had come to love someone else, because divorce papers were never filed.  
  
center /center  
  
Six years later, Hermione Granger Malfoy seated herself in the plush chair before the desk of the Minister of Magic, both adults now the age of twenty-five. Her five and a half year old daughter climbed onto the Minister's lap excitedly, squeezing her small arms around his neck. "Hey kiddo," Harry said to the small child, returning her embrace. The child sat down in his lap calmly, and Harry and Hermione started discussion on a certain part of the book.  
  
Having quit her job at the Ministry when she'd left Malfoy Manor years before, Hermione had taken up an authoring position to rewrite 'Hogwarts: A History'. Harry had felt that no one could do the job better as Hermione had read the previous book hundreds of times over the course of her schooling there.  
  
Near the middle of their meeting, the child became restless and clambered off of Harry's lap. Wrapped up in their work, neither adult noticed, and Hermione's daughter slipped easily out of the room and office.  
  
She found herself on the sidewalk of the street, surrounded by vendor-carts selling treats and collectibles of all sorts. Delighted the little girl wandered around, testing out every food sample a vendor would give her and either squealing or pouting after she ate it, depending on the taste. Seeing her stroll about, some vendors handed her small toys and she was beyond herself with glee.  
  
The child, not knowing it, had ambled far from the Ministry office. The sun was beginning to set, as it was four o'clock when the meeting had started. Hermione's daughter wandered around some more, now looking for her mother, growing more scared with each minute that passed that she didn't find Hermione. Finally she plopped down on a park bench and cried her little eyes out, in a state of panic rarely known to toddlers.  
  
A restlessly bored Draco Malfoy drove through the streets of London in his black Benz, prowling for something to do. He took a left and headed down Tart Avenue, and about halfway down the street he noticed a small figure seated on a bench on the sidewalk, sobbing uncontrollably. Curious and worried about what was obviously a small child, he parked on a side street, as not to scare the child by his sudden presence. He headed up the street and slowly approached the bench.  
  
Now Draco could see that it was a little girl, primly dressed in a pink little coat with a small pair of jeans and a designer baby blue tee underneath, with blonde hair as fine as his. As Draco neared, the little girl looked up at him with charmingly large brown eyes. He smiled at her, and said, "Hi there."  
  
The girl didn't answer at first. "It's okay; I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Draco and I'd like to help you," he cautiously sat on the bench beside her. She smiled weakly and peeped out a "Hi."  
  
Draco grinned and asked her name, and got no response. "Where's your mummy, dear?" he tried again.  
  
"I don't know," she answered softly, her cute little face sad.  
  
Draco couldn't bear the look. "Where do you live?" he asked, his hair color overriding his intellect for a moment.  
  
The little girl just shrugged her shoulders and it hit Draco that a toddler obviously wouldn't know such a thing. He shook his head at himself. {A/n: Blonde moment! Lol} It took him a while, but Draco befriended the girl, convincing her that he was going to help her find her mummy. The girl climbed into his lap and draped her arms around his neck. Draco smiled and picked her up, bringing her to his car.  
  
"Where're we goin'?" she asked with a yawn. Draco figured that her bedtime was probably approaching, but the curiosity was still present.  
  
Draco answered without hesitation, "To a place that can help us find your mummy. Would you like that?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" The girl's exhaustion seemed pressed out.  
  
After she'd been buckled into the back seat, Draco started the engine and drove toward the Ministry. He asked her questions along the way, both trying to keep her calm and possibly acquire any information to help in the search. "When is your birthday?" he inquired.  
  
This brought a smile to her face. "April 22nd," she stated boastfully. {A/n: HA HA that's MY birthday!!}  
  
"And you celebrate with your Mummy and Daddy?"  
  
"No. Just Mummy," she told him nonchalantly.  
  
He carefully asked, "Where is your daddy?"  
  
But she just shrugged indifferently. "He went 'way long times ago. Mummy won't eva say where."  
  
Draco felt a pang at his heart and pitied the little girl. Through his childhood and even his adulthood he had a terrible father, and identified with the girl. He knew the pain of not having a fatherly figure to be there for emotional support.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Draco remembered the question that still went unanswered. "What is your name, sweetie?"  
  
Her answer stunned him beyond belief. "Renee Lia Malfoy," she proudly announced.  
  
Draco almost skidded into the car in front of him. "What-what did you say your name was?"  
  
She recited her name again for Draco.  
  
For the rest of the car ride not a word was said. The child seemed content with pressing all the buttons along the back of his seat, and so many things were running through Draco's head. This was his...? No, it couldn't be. He hadn't slept with any woman since Hermione, before she'd left of course. Just thinking about the situation with his love tore his heart all over again. But Hermione had never told him she was pregnant, and knowing her she certainly would have, so he disregarded that the little girl was Hermione's. Yet, who could the child's parents be then? Malfoy wasn't exactly a common surname, so it left Draco to wonder the rest of the way to the Ministry.  
  
When they arrived, Draco reached into the back seat and unbuckled Renee, and she clung to him tightly. As he carried her into the office, he thought, 'What if this is my daughter?' She smelled cutely of strawberry smoothie shampoo and baby smells, Draco noticed as he set her down to knock on Harry's door. She toddled behind him, fairly aware of her surroundings.  
  
Harry greeted him with a somewhat icy vibe, though Draco could tell he was masking it. "Draco. Long time, no see. How've you been doing?" he said with a shake of the hand and a gesture to enter. "What brings you here at this hour?" he asked, noticing the worried expression on Draco's face.  
  
"I was driving around and on Tart Ave I found this little girl crying on a park bench. I got her to trust me and I asked her some questions as to where her mother was and such. Her name is-" Draco started, but Harry cut him off as Renee sheepishly stepped out from behind Draco.  
  
"Renee Lia Malfoy!" Harry smiled and scooped her up, holding the little girl tight.  
  
"Um, yeah...you hit it on the money there," Draco stuttered, confused.  
  
"Oh, you have no idea how relieving this is. I had her mother in here before for a meeting, and when we'd finished Renee was gone. We filed a report and everything. I'm glad you found her, Draco, and not someone else." Harry was spinning Renee around, making her laugh. He set her down on his big plush chair and dialed Renee's house. He spoke to her mother briefly, a smile on his face the entire time.  
  
The question was asked tentatively, "And just who is Renee's mother?" Draco asked, even though somehow he felt positive he knew the answer.  
  
Harry's face grew serious. "Well...you know..." he paused uneasily. "It's Hermione."  
  
Draco broke down, sunk into a chair and rambled. "I knew it. But HOW could she not TELL me she was pregnant?! Why did she leave if she was carrying my kid?"  
  
"What are you talking about? You knew she was pregnant, and you wanted her out for it," Harry rudely reminded, and Draco looked up at him, angry and confused, just as Hermione burst into the room.  
  
Renee yelled out, "MUMMY!" and ran to her.  
  
Draco turned in his chair, took one look at the woman before him and swooned. Even though she looked worn out from panic and tears were streaming down her face, she looked as beautiful as ever to Draco. Her bun had been fell loose from her alarm of the last few hours, and some strands of hair limply hung around her face, and she was wearing a blue stretch sweat suit that was a slim sweater and pants. The stretch allowed her to fall to her knees and embrace her daughter like she'd never let go, soothing her baby and herself, "Oh baby, I was so worried. Shh, it's okay, Mummy is here now." She looked up with tears in her eyes and noticed Draco. Her expression deeply soured.  
  
When she'd stood and placed Renee securely on her hip, she thanked Harry profusely, and he hugged her with a kiss on the cheek before she headed toward the exit with her daughter. Draco snapped out of his trance at the sound of the door shutting behind her and rose quickly. He chased after her, leaving Harry's office as she exited the Ministry building and walked along the sidewalk toward her car, holding Renee close.  
  
Draco got out onto the street a ways behind her and called out, "Hermione, wait!"  
  
She ignored him, swaying her baby as she walked on.  
  
Draco caught up to her easily and spoke to her. "Hello to you too, Mia."  
  
Hermione gave him a hard look that clearly as day stated, 'How DARE you call me by my nickname after what happened!' She responded relatively calmly, however. "Yeah, how's your auror life, Draco? Better without me in it?" she asked snidely.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not the one who walked out here," he replied harshly.  
  
"No, but you weren't the one forced out either," Hermione's voice cracked a little and she unsuccessfully tried to cover it.  
  
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" He stopped walking, bewildered.  
  
So did she. "Your malicious family wanted me out all along. I knew it, but I didn't know that you wanted me gone too. We had just gotten married, for Merlin's sake, and I didn't understand what was going on when Dennis came to me and informed me of your wishes?"  
  
"My wishes?" He shook his head, frustrated. "And what's all this that Potter mentioned to me, about me knowing you were pregnant and wanting you out for it?"  
  
"Draco, don't act so innocent. Your work was getting more involved, as I already know, and the marriage was too much Ipressure/I on you. THEN, I was carrying Renee, and you just couldn't deal with it any longer. AND, you had your little MESSENGER BOY tell me all of this instead of having the balls to do it yourself. Pathetic," she commented solemnly. She sighed, and quietly admitted, "I agreed to leave because I loved you and because I wanted the best for you. Dennis insisted that you felt I would just get in your way, and so would the baby, and I came to believe that."  
  
Draco's jaw dropped, as he was horribly shocked. So THAT was why she left. That bloody bastard of a butler had devised the whole thing and made her believe Draco couldn't handle having her and the baby tied in with his work, something his father was most definitely in on also. He couldn't believe that he had lived the past four years of his life in misery, missing her and wondering where she was and what she was doing, when he could've had her and his daughter all along had it not been for his meddling family. He'd kill them. Draco visually broke down and collapsed on a bench.  
  
Hermione turned and watched him carefully as his face dropped into his hands, elbows propped up on his knees. He seemed unaware and truthfully astonished. Could he really have not been any part of the plan that banished her from him? She wasn't quite convinced. Did she really believe that Draco hadn't known about her pregnancy at all, and hadn't sent her away? True, he had loved her, and his family had despised her, but had his family made him realize the error in his ways that was loving her?  
  
"Hermione," he interrupted her thoughts, looking up at her, and then standing up before her. "You must believe me." He looked straight into her eyes. "I never knew about Renee. All Dennis told you was lies. I would never have wanted you to leave me side." His expression was solely distressed.  
  
It only confirmed Hermione's hopes for him. "Um...can we go somewhere to talk?"  
  
center /center  
  
Draco and Hermione sat together on a loveseat couch, at ends facing each other, in the large, cozy den of Malfoy Mansion, Renee playing with wizard action figures on the floor before the roaring fire {A/n: And NO, that is NOT a typo! They aren't at Malfoy MANOR, they are at DRACO'S own estate. So Blows raspberry to you!}. They'd established that the whole thing had been a scam set up by Lucius and Dennis, and they were both in disbelief. It wasn't exactly surprising that the vicious older men would do something of the sort, but the fact that the younger couple had fallen for it threw them for a loop. Draco looked deep into her eyes and explained, "Hermione, I would've never allow you to leave had I known what was going on. I loved you so dearly, you were everything to me and I was as devastated when you left as you were. If only my family wasn't full of such bastards." He shook his head mournfully.  
  
"I know," Hermione said quietly, looking away.  
  
Draco moved closer to Hermione and took her hands in his. "Mia, I still love you as much as I did then. Do you think that we could try at our marriage again? Because we are still married, you know, and all that separated us for those four miserable years was my fucking family, and they're gone now."  
  
Hermione sighed heavily. "I don't know, Draco. Renee is so accustomed to the way things are. She's already had to adjust to living life without a daddy. It's not fair to confuse her, complicate her life even more."  
  
Draco searched her soul through her eyes, deeply hunting for that love he knew Hermione still harbored for him. "If anything it will make her life easier, Mia, having both of her parents to love and protect her. I want to be in my daughter's life, and what better way to explain who I am to reveal that I'm her long-lost daddy?"  
  
"Honey, she's but three and I'm not sure she'll be able to one, even comprehend what's going on, or two, deal with the emotional issues," Hermione explained.  
  
"Renee's an intelligent kid from what I gather; after all she is her mother's daughter. And with the way she clung to me while we searched for you I think she'd like having me around," Draco pleaded.  
  
Hermione smiled. "You're so damn cute when you beg." She reached out and touched his face tenderly. "I love you, Draco," she whispered.  
  
The words Draco had longed to hear from that charming voice he cherished were now spoken. He felt his heart warm up and a large grin came across his face, as he moved in closer to her. "And I love you, Mia," he confessed, and closed in on the remaining distance between them, softly pressing his lips to hers for a passionate kiss that lasted a few minutes. Neither Hogwarts alumni wanted to pull away, as they were finally in touch with the lips they had hungered for for four long years.  
  
"So does that mean you'll move in with me?" Draco eagerly inquired.  
  
Hermione sighed playfully. "Well, I suppose so."  
  
They both laughed and Draco pulled her into a secure embrace. It felt wonderful to have her in his arms again, and he held her there for a while, stroking her back and running his fingers through her long, silky curls, occasionally receiving small kisses whenever and wherever Hermione desired.  
  
Renee and Hermione moved in that weekend. As Renee had been enlightened as to the fact that her hero was her father, she was ecstatic, and warmly greeted Draco into their family with a tight hug and a kiss on his cheek, that caused a laugh of relief from Draco and tears of happiness to form in Hermione's eyes. Finally, that branch of the Malfoy family was reunited, and all participants were delighted with the outcome.  
  
One night the happy couple lay in each other's arms after putting their daughter to bed together. Hermione shifted to get closer to him as he stared up thoughtfully at the canopy over their bed. Finally he quietly, and wistfully said, "If only I had known I had a daughter. I could've been there from the start, and we could've been a family all along."  
  
Hermione sighed contently. "Yes, but Draco, you know what the circumstances were. Dennis portrayed you as the type of man I vowed to steer clear of. That I had married you haunted me, so I wasn't about to tell you that we had a child. At least we're all together now."  
  
"True," Draco admitted. "But I can't help thinking how different our lives would have been...if I had only known."  
  
Please review.  
  
Laura 


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